well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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