i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
