All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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