Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
