why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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