He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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