We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize