Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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