so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
