the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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