If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
