Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
