Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He did a backflip because drugs
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