SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
