This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
