my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
