he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The feeling are messing with the penis
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
