I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
