If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
