So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
