summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think people are normalizing furries
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
