I'm drive I can fine osifer
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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