he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have already put on my inside pants.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize