The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I lost the right to judge tonight
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
