Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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