I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
