thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
