this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize