Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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