oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
