So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
