I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
