U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
