Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize