Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think people are normalizing furries
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
