she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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