Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
