..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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