My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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