He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
