Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
