I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
