Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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