I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
