every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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