You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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