You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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