And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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