he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
