Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
