I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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