i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
