Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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