Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
