Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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