So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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