Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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