theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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