I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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