Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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