Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
