He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
