3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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